it only takes 1 and i go to church with 20

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I can’t help but see their faces peeking over the edges of a sling or their mother’s shoulder. The sweet little eyes wondering at the crowds that surround them. I see their mother’s arms holding them strong, but gentle, and the trust in their expression shows how well they are loved and cared for. Little ones. Little lives.

A good many months ago now I read a blogpost about a woman who was expecting her 4th baby. And I don’t know why, but it just cut me to my heart. Selfish as it may be, and though I tried to separate my own experience from her joy, I just sat and cried out of what felt like overwhelming sorrow.  Cried as I was honest with myself about my lack of trust, cried because I can’t know for sure that I will even be able to get pregnant, cried because I’m so afraid I won’t, cried because it isn’t time yet.

You may be thinking you’d like to tell me to stop being so emotional, trust God, trust His timing, stop thinking that what I want is the best, understand that it isn’t the right timing, that we probably shouldn’t even be parents right now, that it would be foolish, that others have wanted children a lot longer than I have and are still struggling to get pregnant, to enjoy my current stage of life to its fullest, to not be so selfish.

I really am trying.

Trying to give us time to grow up, trying to give us time to work and pay off loans, trying to find the joy in what I am doing in this season, trying to remember that being a mother is not all joys, but is just as, if not harder, than working full time. I am trying to remember to keep my perspective straight.

But then I see another little face at church or happen to come across another pregnancy announcement and my resolve and trust crumble into a pile of hormonal mess that only knows I am not allowed what I so long for.

I feel as though I’ve been this way forever, always pushing this desire back from my thoughts and emotions. No, I’m not wallowing in despair. It isn’t that kind of hurt, which sometimes makes it even harder because my life can’t/won’t stop because I want a baby. So I carry the ache with me in my heart as I live, and learn to cope with the desires and periodic sadness.

I love my nieces, feel joy for those who are pregnant, smile and wave at the little faces at church, and am glad to be able to know that so many little lives are well cared for. Despite the deep ache in my heart that I can’t ignore, I am living with love for the little ones that surround me, even though they are not my own. And someday, someday God will see fit to allow Justin and I the blessing of children. I just know He will. Whether I am a Mary or a Sarah or somewhere in between, I trust Him in His love, His goodness and His mercy.

And someday, someday I will be a mother and it will be right.

Just Call Me Pam Beesly

IMG_1927(my desk! :) )

I have worked as a receptionist for almost three weeks now and thought it best to record a few nuances of the job that intrigue, delight, and discourage me.

  1. I have three clocks located around my desk. A desk phone clock, digital clock sitting on the front desk and my computer clock. They are each a minute different than the other. In the mornings I choose to go by the clock that is the slowest to reaching 8:30 and at the end of the day I choose to go by the clock that reaches 5:00 fastest, it’s all about judgment calls ;)
  2. The commute to work is more or less excellent. Because I don’t have to be at work till 8:30 I don’t hit very much traffic driving around 8:00, the drive home is the WORST though. I never realized how much traffic distresses me until this job, but I am discovering back roads that save me a precious few minutes, and a little more sanity, and the radio is always a life saver in the most stressed of travel times.
  3. When you talk on the phone all day awkward word combinations are always a possibility, and many times a reality. I am already a relatively awkward person to talk on the phone with so add in job pressure and tiredness and sometimes I find myself uttering phrases that I can’t even understand. For instance, the other day I picked up the phone and all the caller asked for was to be transferred to another phone line, my go to phrase to let them know I will transfer them is ‘alright, hold on just one second’ but for this call, I’m just gonna add that I was extra tired, I kept saying ‘hold on just sec’ (seriously, I said it like 3 times in a ROW) and for the life of me could not figure out why it was not coming out of my mouth correctly. #mosteloquentpersoninhistory
  4. Let’s go from a con to a pro and talk supply closets. MY WORD I love them. I swear they are a little slice of heaven! With folders, and files, pens, legal pads, highlighters, stickers, and more they are an organizers dream come TRUE. The supply closet in my building is on the way to women’s’ bathroom and I can’t help but many times just gaze onto the beauty that is the contents of the closet each time I make a bathroom run. :D
  5. Because I sit ALL. DAY. in my desk chair I have begun to understand the episode of The Office where Pam is HIGHLY concerned with getting Michaels old desk chair a lot better! It becomes top priority to have a chair that is both comfortable and practical, mine is probably mid-range on both, so I could certainly see why an opportunity to upgrade would be a coveted advantage!
  6. I am a lover of natural light and my desk is surrounded with 3 windows that not only pour in natural light but also allow me to keep tabs on the street and the weather at any minute of the day. A con of this perk though is that between 4-5pm each, sunny, day the light streams in through the window to my side and makes me SO sleepy, causing the last hour of work to draaaag by. :D
  7. All of the inner office projects like making copies, scanning, and stamping the mail are just the BEST, I could seriously do it all day! If there was a job where all I had to do is copy and organize documents, that’d be the greatest thing, well as long as it came with a group of people to work with and talk to while doing it, my extroverted side still need’s interaction with people even though my introverted side thrives on paper work :D
  8. One of my, obviously, favorite times of the day is five o’clock when it’s time to go home! Each day it’s the best thing to see the difference between 4:55 and 5:00. At 4:55 the occupants of the building are still hard at work, but, like clockwork (irony’s the best ;) ) as soon as 5:00 hits the exodus begins and people start pouring out of the doors and offices right on schedule!!
  9. One of my favorite parts of my job is that I get to eat lunch with friends and family throughout the week! The hour of 12:30-1:30 is always an exciting break, not only because I get to leave my desk for a little while but also because each new day the lunch company varies but is always most excellent!
  10. And now a final work tale to end the list. Last Friday I got to work about 25 minutes early so I decided to relax in my car for a bit before heading in. After about 10 minutes I decided to go in, it had been a VERY rainy morning and the highway traffic had been pretty bad, making me the only employee car I could see was there. I don’t have a key to the building but normally someone will open the door when they first arrive so that I can get in and be ready to take the phones off of night service at 8:30. Even though I didn’t see anyone else there I thought I would at least check to see if I could get in the building. Once I got to the front door I noticed that all the lights were off, I had never gotten there when they were all off before, but I decided to check the door anyway. I did and it opened immediately. I assumed that someone had arrived through the back door and just hadn’t turned on the front lights yet…I was wrong. I walked in and immediately heard a quick beeping sound, I walked around the corner and saw the security system blinking and flashing an ‘alarm will sound in one minute’ message. And then the alarm did indeed go off. I stood all alone in the dark office with the alarm sounding and all I could think to do was run back outside and hope that an employee with the security alarm code would arrive. 10 minutes later they did and the problem was sorted out, but my goodness it sure made the morning a great deal more sensational and surreal then it needed to be! So, yeah, for my two week anniversary as the newest employee at my job I set off the security alarm. best. receptionist. ever. ;)

Thomas and Evie

IMG_6252 copyThis past weekend my oldest sister, Charissa, her husband, Tom, and little girl, Evie, came back into town to celebrate some birthdays! We celebrated Evie’s 1st and Tom’s 26th! It was so surreal that the baby girl that had made me an aunt was turning one and it was such a good time to be able to be surrounded by so much family and so many friends! I especially loved seeing Evie interact with her little friend Hudson (pictures below). They were born about a week apart and it’s just the sweetest thing seeing how they really do seem to understand one another. :)IMG_6227 copyIMG_6236 copyIMG_6234 copyIMG_6244 copyIMG_6255 copyIMG_6258 copyIMG_6214 copyIMG_6263 copyIMG_6266 copy

And here is a quick snap of Justin with one of my family’s cats, Luna, or ‘the grumpy one’ as we’ve titled her. My camera lens gave Justin a bit of a Popeye look, but Luna’s complete disinterested and disturbed look made it too great of a photo not to share. :D

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Social Media Considerations

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(photo from kandr blog)

I’ve been thinking very recently about the idea of leaving social media through the avenues of Facebook and my blog. Recently I find myself frequently confused by the many voices and suggestions and words that I put myself in contact with on a daily basis.

It seems like these days we’ve all built social media routines into our normal lives so seamlessly that it’s so unorthodox to attempt to remove oneself from any social media platform. I’ll always use the excuse, ‘but I won’t have access to this or know that or be able to see this or let this person know this’ and it complicates being able to make decisions in regards to social media because we either feel like we owe people certain information/explanation about our lives, or we expect certain information/explanation from other people. It’s a very weird, but seen as normal, dynamic.

I am finding that if I allow too many voices into my life that I feel flustered, I’m not sure yet if that is a youthful inability to compartmentalize or if it is just a personality quirk of mine. Whatever the reason though, social media is consistently the culprit of stress and over-thinking in my life and I am looking to put an end to that.

I don’t know what that should mean yet, whether it’s to keep up Facebook and my blog and just not utilize them or if it’s to shut them down for a time, or if it’s to remove myself completely from those outlets.

It seems like such a drastic choice to think I might decide to have a life apart social media, I almost feel guilty for depriving people the right to view my life whenever they want, I think that could be a problem, haha :D

For a long time I’ve examined the success of my home, work, and life by reviewing my past and other’s present, through Facebook and blogs. I am actually in a very good place right now in regards to that poor habit, I am aware of a lot and have gained rest in a lot of areas, and I think it’s good, but, thanks to social media, I am also still also very aware of a lot in other people’s lives too, and I am realizing that I don’t know if can be that invested. Because the thing is, I seem to find myself invested in people’s lives, due to social media, without even meaning to! Maybe I shouldn’t say invested, because it’s not really invested in a real way, it’s more like invested in an observing way, aka, a pretty lame way to say you are involved in other human beings lives.

I always think I’ll regret giving up connections of Facebook and my blog, that I’ll look back and think why didn’t I just keep posting so I wouldn’t have empty pockets of time when I wasn’t recording what was happening in my life or staying connected with so many other people’s lives, why would I just give it up for a stage, shouldn’t I just decide one way or another and stick with it?

But you see,

I want to remember my life, but I don’t want to have been so overly concerned about remembering and compiling blog posts of my life when I was meant to be living my life.

I want to stay connected with people, but I don’t want to live life thinking that seeing that someone had a baby is as invested as congratulating someone on having a baby.

I want to feel inspired, but I don’t want to feel like my life or home is in need of a makeover because I am bombarded with possible DIY projects to tackle.

I want to share news with friends and family, but I don’t want to feel like I am meant to share in a certain way or put the standard on myself that it isn’t official until its Facebook official (it sounds lame, but I know I’m not the only one out there that can feel that way!)

I think that many, many people have found the unique healthy balance in their interaction with social media, I am concerned though that I have not.

These are just some thoughts I’ve been pondering, some habits I’ve been mulling over in an attempt to understand better why I’ve put them in place, whether consciously or unconsciously. I’ve interacted with some very good habits recently, ones that have made me consider the validity and worth of some of my other habits.

One habit that I am seeking to put into place more is one of actually experiencing rest in Christ. If a Christian, we are allowed the peace and rest of Christ at any/every moment of any/every day. It’s almost a Sunday school answer it’s said and heard so much in the Christian community, but what isn’t talked about as much is the sneaky ability and habit of being able to refuse to live into that peace and rest, sometimes without even realizing it. When I am stressed or anxious my initial reaction is to try to do something to feel peaceful again, to read the bible or pray or just ask for help, to ask, ‘what do I do?’ When really, what we are meant to do is to quiet ourselves, GIVE our worries to God and acknowledge the peace He offers. It’s not an emotional show or to-do list, it’s a quiet release. I am just recently learning the difference between the two and realizing more how less emotions can leave room for the right feelings, it seems like such a funny statement, but it makes so much sense when you find yourself without the anxious emotions but full of a peaceful, understanding calm.

Giving God space in our minds and hearts to reveal His peace in our lives is something that wins over any contrived emotional experience every time.

The other night Justin and I went over to my older brother David and his wife Judy’s home for a bit, well it ended up being 5 hours, haha, :D , but amidst the ebb and flow of conversation this topic of social media in our lives today came up and resulted in some excellent conversation, swapping of perspectives, and stating of wisdom. I want to be able to remember each little part of the conversation because it was so good, but I think that is just the blogger inside of me feeling like I owe my blog the most complete and thorough explanation of my life, that I NEED to have the conversation recorded, when really it’s okay to be able to say that we had a great conversation and then leave it at that!

Along with the habit of realizing peace in my life, I’ve been considering the longevity of habits. My blog is a little over 2 ½ years old and it has recorded SO much of my life already, but I think about my life 10, 15, 20 years from now and I can honestly say I don’t think I want to be blogging then. I don’t think I want to be concerned with an internet space throughout all of those years or be dependent on a digital space to recall my life, perhaps I don’t give my own memory enough credit, perhaps I think that I will want a detailed account of my past more then I actually will, perhaps I cut short the other ways to remember, perhaps I don’t realize that quality is better than quantity, even in memories.

I have a BOAT load of other thoughts on this topic and the process of my interaction with it, but I think to suffice, since this post is already almost a blog in and of itself :D , I will just say I have been considering leaving this space and Facebook to attempt to allow myself the time to build habits of hearing God’s voice in my life above all of the other voices that I seem to constantly invite into my life under the heading of ‘normal’.

Blogger Autobiographies | Fountainhead

fountainhead

Today I would like to introduce to you Jessica and her blog Fountainhead. She is one of the few bloggers that I not only know in real life, but is also in a similar stage of life as I am! Jessica blogs about everything from music she loves to dreams for the future and I am so pleased to introduce her to you today! I hope you find inspiration and encouragement from her honest account of her story and enjoy getting to know her as much as I have!! :)

1) When/Why did you first start blogging? I started blogging because of a suggestion made in my Intro to Sociology class in 2011. During the 2011-2012 school year I went to a technical college to take a bring from real college and get some core classes taken care of. I had a fun time choosing classes because tech colleges seem to have so many more options than CIU!! So I took a few classes like Civil War History and Sociology. Well it was a few weeks into the school year, September. Occupy Wall Street was starting to take off. My professor, Dr. Peggy Campbell, was a super free spirit. She had to have been a hippie, present at Woodstock, or something like it. She was a fun professor. One of the class discussions she introduced was the way our time is radically changed by our culture, and our culture is radically changed by our time. We have new and old ideas mending and clashing; outlooks and perspectives continuing to develop and deepen; even trends come and go and that has some impact on culture and society. I remember having a fantastic class discussion about the workings of society and culture. Near the end of class she asked a rhetorical question: would you ever document your history? Keep track of who you are and you’ll see: a few years now you will see how who you are now is not who you are then. What if you recorded your culture? What if you recorded your reactions to the ever-changing society? What if you recorded your history, and give it a place somewhere in the books? Challenge accepted. I created a new blogger account in mid-September 2011. I wasn’t sure what to write about, how to write, or even really what a blog was. But a few weeks later in October 2011, I chose to record simple history. Nothing fancy, nothing necessarily about me, but something that I was witnessing: I wrote about Occupy Wall Street. This will go down in the books, but I got to talk about it from my perspective. I named the post “Occupying a Part of History” and I did this with double meaning: the effects of a national movement occupies and transforms the course of history, and I am a part of the history being made in the world. I was encouraged to occupy a part of history so that I can see how I change and develop and how my culture and another’s culture mesh and clash, and how society affects me positively and negatively, and how my worldview has deepened. I started blogging to keep up with me because I can barely keep up with the world.

2) Why did you choose your blog name? My blog has gone through a few names and facelifts. I started with the long phrase “Fly From the Highest Swing” out of a song I loved at the time by Priscilla Ahn. It was a very long name because, like I said, I wasn’t really sure how a blog operated. I chose that as the name because I love the imagery behind it: when you’re a kid you imagine flying through the sky every time you reach the climax of swinging. When you get there you think, “what if I let go? Could I really fly?” But reason, even as a child, prevents us from letting go of the swing and seeing how far we can go. The same idea I chose to apply to my blog because I wanted to be reminded that whatever I write can go anywhere; there are no limits! And I can be as creative or as dull as I’d like to be. It was a reminder to let go of the swing every time I came to the key pad to type. Since then I have changed the name to Fountainhead. This change came a few months after I got married. I was looking internally for a place to call home; everything was so new and fresh and not familiar yet, and I wanted something comfortable to call home within me. I remember going through the process of loneliness and frustration, and reconstructing me from the inside out. As I processed, I realized more and more about myself that I had not realized before. I traced my thoughts, desires, feelings, temptations, joys, and everything about me back to its roots, its origins. It was refreshing, like finding the fountainhead of crisp water and I realized that that’s what I had been finding: the fountainhead from which my everything pours. This was the Lord, this was an old home, and old soul, this was everything about me that me who I am. I changed the name of my blog because I realized more and more that what I was writing came from the very basic origins of my being. All of my interests, intellect, discoveries, and joy were reconnecting with the fountainhead, from whence it came. And I am recording that fountainhead in its many faces.

3) What is the core story or purpose behind your blog? The story behind my blog is my story. When something happens in the world (personal, local, cultural, national, international, good, bad, and ugly) I post something about it. This shows in form of what TV shows or music I’m choosing to be entertained by; a book that I’m enjoying, or thoughts about my own development, identity crisis, and walk with the Lord. I see the purpose of my blog as being something like a journal that I don’t mind people reading. It chronicles my experiences, the things that I consider home, and it serves a small purpose for me to look back over the past few years and see what has changed, what has stayed the same, remember what I’ve learned, remember how the Lord has worked in and around me, and to reconnect with the younger me. It gives me a chance to go back through the hard times and say internally to my younger self, “It’s okay, Jessica. You made it. You’ll be just fine.” It’s like therapy in some cases. My blog is the one thing that I don’t mind being a little selfish about; the underlying theme of Fountainhead. is me. How I react and interact with a world that is different every second the world spins. It’s my attempt at self-expression, and I use it as an outlet for just that. At the same time I have learned to use my blog as an outlet for ministry. Someone from high school once asked me if I could start posting Bible studies, or devotionals because they would love to grow closer to God and thought that I would be the perfect person to do that. I started off with explaining the fallacies of Bible translation and how to correct our mindset. Since then I have shared personal epiphanies and revelations with my readers in hopes that they can find the inspiration they need to seek God as He is calling them to Himself. I think that blogging provides that rare opportunity to be completely real with people about life, likes and dislikes, frustrations and joys, but still show that the One keeping it all together is the One who told the winds and the waves to settle down. I love this about my ability to blog.

4) What do you hope your blog will become and continue to be? I hope that my blog becomes (or continues to be) a place where any reader feels at home. I want people to see my struggles and interests and walk with God and remember that I am just another human being. I hope my blog will become somehow inspiring for people who need a way to release their minds onto a blank page. I hope that what I write continues to minister to those who need it, and inspire those who don’t. I hope I can continue to foster creativity and encouragement among my readers, and I hope that everyone can find at least one thing that I write that’s cool/inspiring/encouraging/heart-felt/and so on. I try to have fun with my blog, with what I write and how I decorate it. I hope I am continually reminded of the purpose of its existence, not using it as a place to hide, but as a place to live freely.

5) What would be different in your life if blogs didn’t exist? Life would definitely be much different… What would I do with all of my free time!? I would definitely not be on the internet as much… Or maybe I would be because Facebook might still exist? I wonder, though, what else would occupy my time; would it be a productive hobby, or some form of volunteer work? Or would it be something lazy and haphazard? I guess we’ll never know :)

| for more Blogger Autobiography archives and information on the project go HERE |

Blogger Autobiographies | Love Lola

Love Lola

I came across Lauren’s blog, Love Lola, just a little while ago and was immediately taken with the life and color in her photos! Her story, genuineness, and joy for life was all so encouraging! I am delighted to introduce her to you today and hope you find just as much encouragement and inspiration from her blog as I’ve found! :)

1) When/Why did you first start blogging? I first started blogging in 2012 right after my wedding. After spending a year planning our wedding, I was craving more creative projects to work on. This blog became a fun creative outlet for me, that has since grown into so much more.

2) Why did you choose your blog name? Lola was a nickname my close friends called me in college. I always felt it fit my personality, so that it would be a great representation of my blog, Love Lola.

3) What is the core story or purpose behind your blog? I hope to inspire others to find beauty in their life, whether it be through food or day to day living. I’m passionate about food, beautiful interiors, and photography. My hope is to share my passions with others, inspiring them to find theirs.

4) What do you hope your blog will become and continue to be? I would love for it to grow into more of a business. I am in the process of getting my RD (Registered Dietitian license) and would love to start my private practice through my blog.

5) What would be different in your life if blogs didn’t exist? I’d be less stressed :). Ha. But I’d also be less inspired. I think blogs are a beautiful thing and I’m very thankful for this internet age.

| for more Blogger Autobiography archives and information on the project go HERE |

Friday Night Rock

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Last night Justin and I went to see the farewell for now concert of the Rejectioneers, basically, we went to a rock show. We know one of the guitarists and had never been to a concert downtown before so we jumped at the chance to do something a little different, plus tickets were only $5 so we thought it worth the investment! It really was totally different, a different location, a different crowd, a different activity, a different feel, everything about it was different, well, for me at least! :)

Justin has been to his fair share of rock concerts, but I have always been a Lumineers, Fun, Michael Buble kind of girl so, needless to say, I have not been in attendance of rock shows…ever.

But last night was fun, the venue was little, the music was loud and we didn’t know too many people, but the experience was worth it! The only thing Justin and I could compare it to from our past experiences together was the 12:30am comedy show we went to in Chelsea while we were in NYC! The night life is unique for all kinds of reasons, :D

I can’t say that after last night I’ll be jumping at the chance to attend more rock concerts in the future, but it was a good night (and my hearing has since leveled back out ;) ) and it made some good memories! What more can you ask of a Friday night!

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Technology Perks

iphoto 4Recently the IT department where Justin works discarded multiple Macbooks that were too old for them to use, most of them had seen quite a bit of wear and tear and really were good for little more then the trash pile, but there was a specific, what I call, roundy edged one that was still in almost pristine condition! I had actually been eyeing it for MONTHS beforehand, it had been sitting in the IT shop for quite some time, and as soon as I heard it was actually going to be discarded I made sure that I had Justin request it, he is able to request to have any item that is being discarded. Now, to preface this story, if you know me you know I LOVE round things, pudgy things, chubby things, etc…I bought my first Macbook only months before they came out with the rounded edges version and let me tell you I was so sad that I hadn’t known to wait for it! I made up my mind then that someday, SOMEDAY, I would own a roundy edged Macbook.

Fast forward 5 years and today I officially own a roundy edge Macbook of my very own, for the exceptionally low price of $0!

Now, to be fair, it’s a ridiculously old model, but it is the one I’ve wanted for so long that I don’t even mind, PLUS with the new  operating system installed it still feels brand new! Last night Justin charged it up for the first time and we inducted it into our technology family with a brilliant photo booth session!

We sure are living the dream! :D

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One Week of Work

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Some of you may not know that I have actually had two jobs this summer. I had a job at the start of the summer, another receptionist position, at a school that I started the day after Justin and I got back from our one year trip to NYC and that I finished 3 days after Justin and I got back from our one year trip to NYC. The job experience was so terrible for me on so many different levels, some that I still don’t even understand. You wouldn’t think that 3 days at a job could affect you so poorly, but it did. Maybe I’ll write more about that experience another time, because there are actually a lot of different aspects of it that I’d like to process and think through, but for now, I write that simple summery to explain the above left picture. That is the picture that I took on my first day at my first summer job, it was taken 3 hours into training after calling Justin and completely breaking down, I took the photo to try to see if my eyes were less red enough for me to be able to go back in without appearing like I had cried as hard as I actually had. The picture on the left is the picture from my first day at my job now taken after training, lunch and a tear free phone call to Justin, the dichotomy between the two is something that I feel is important.

The choice to leave my first summer job was one that had a lot of factors wrapped up into it, but the biggest one was that it meant that I would be searching for a full time job for possibly the rest of the summer. As it turns out I did indeed search the entire summer for employment filling out numerous applications going on about 8 interviews and actually turning down an offered position, more on that if/when I write a more detailed post on the job hunt this past summer. The summer was hard, financially, emotionally, and spiritually, but I knew that at some point I would be able to look back on it with perspective, well, today is that day! :)

As of today I have officially worked at my new job for 1 week! I have been trained as a receptionist and I have also been training recently on some legal assistant work! I cried when saying goodbye to Justin in the morning 3 out of the 6 mornings, cried when I got home to see him 1 out of 6 nights, cried at work 0 out of 6 work days, slept through the night 4 out of 6 work nights and have looked forward to going to work 5 out of 6 work days! Basically, the adjustment hasn’t been without some tears, haha, but the results are beyond anything I would have expected. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I was meant to work this job, to learn these skills, and to have a career at this company. And that assurance, and the provision of peace and rest, God has given me to come to the point where I can truly realize that is a process and result that I will forever remember and appreciate!

I was telling Justin and some friends last night that I’m almost worried to say out loud how much I really like the job because I don’t want to mess it up, :) , but I truly am grateful for the people, the pacing, and the work of this position and I am finding myself really enjoying the motion of my days at this time and, I’ll just admit it, the soon-to-be coming first, and subsequent, paychecks aren’t too shabby either! ;)

All of that to say the past week has been one that has completely changed Justin and I’s life, the deed of finding a full time job is done, and now we can settle into this routine until Justin graduates and we make another family transition into a new stage! Looking to the future knowing that we have the tools to provide income for bills, travels, and fun is very reassuring, and remembering who it was that provided those means for our little family is so very humbling.

God is very good, and not just now when things have all worked out and settled down, He was good during this past summer, He was good through the tears, fears, stress and learning and I truly belief He did indeed work out all things this past summer for good and for His glory.

Romans 8:28 

28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Blogger Autobiographies | Space For The Divine

Space for the Divine

Today, I am excited to introduce to you my brother David and his blog, Space For The Divine. Up till now my features focus has been on female lifestyle bloggers, but today we’re gonna change it up a bit by not only featuring the first male blogger of this series, but also showing a different side of what blogging can be useful for, in this case, an academic/theological focus!  :)

1) When/Why did you first start blogging? I first started blogging about three years ago. I had just begun my MA degree at Talbot School of Theology and I wanted an outlet for all the ideas I had that were unrelated to my classes. It turned out to be quite a welcoming space for me to go and hash out my thoughts about God, theology, and Christian living. I’m still figuring out a lot of those thoughts, but it’s fun to go back and see what I thought was important at the time.

2) Why did you choose your blog name? I chose the name Space For The Divine for several reasons. First, I wanted my blog to be a space on the Internet where God was (hopefully) displayed and honored. I wanted to “host” a place for Him; maybe a temple of sorts? Second, I wanted my blog to reflect a certain cooperation of mine with God. I wanted to think God’s thoughts with Him – but I wanted to put it down on “paper”. As I think through difficult things like the intersection of homosexuality and Christianity, gender roles, or various other culturally hot topics, I want to make space for God to speak into my reflections. I want Him to guide me and keep me chaste to His will.

3) What is the core story or purpose behind your blog? I hope to provide my readers with challenging/encouraging Christian reflection on important issues of the day. I have a background in the humanities with advanced training in theology and so I try to bring all of those influences to bear on my writing. All that aside, however, I would be pleased if someone read my blog and came away with even just a little more practical knowledge concerning how to live their daily life in response to Jesus’ powerful and loving call to discipleship. If I can do that, then I consider my blog a success!

4) What do you hope your blog will become and continue to be? I hope that the blog continue to be a place where readers can come for an honest, attentive, poignant perspective on the Christian life and things related to it. Furthermore, I hope it will become a collaborative space where others can contribute their thoughts concerning practical, theological issues. We’ll see if that hope can be realized!

5) What would be different in your life if blogs didn’t exist? I would probably spend a lot less time on the Internet! I really enjoy visiting blogs (several in particular) and catching up on what they have to say. I’m often challenged and compelled towards thoughts and actions I wouldn’t have had otherwise.

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