The following post is a bit of ranting, questions, and resolutions all wrapped up together on a topic that has been on my mind a lot recently, read on with that awareness.
Recently I have been putting a lot of time into the production and up keep of my blog.
After watching American Blogger I felt like my blog could have so much potential and I was excited to become more intentional about becoming a part of the ‘blogger community’ that was talked about so much throughout the film.
I thought through my blog history and really gained a clearer vision of the purpose of my blog, and then decided to begin a project by connecting with other bloggers and telling some of their stories on my own blog in an effort to become a part of a wider community.
I sent out email after email after email to bloggers all across the world, some that I had been following for years now and others that I just recently became aware of thanks to American Blogger.
So far the response has been mixed, but mostly nonexistent.
To be honest, I am a bit disappointed; here I was after watching a film that boasted of the community that is so readily available via blogs, but even in an attempt to connect with other bloggers I find myself no closer to really becoming a part of the blogging world.
I know it isn’t intentional, people are busy and blogs are just a taste of the world that the women behind them are a part of….but it just made me wonder what I was missing…was there something about my blog that wasn’t good enough to catch their attention? Was I too far from their stage of life to be worth interacting with? Too few followers? Not looking to pay for a feature post? Too young?
Maybe they really are just too busy, but I can’t help but wonder if my blog had a following or if I was older if time would have been made for the project.
…who can know.
What I do know however, is that the blogging community is very unique. It can either be an amazing place of connections and support or it can be a fairly lonely occupation if approached with a certain mentality.
I would certainly say that I falter on the side of insecurity many times; I can take things personally sometimes that were not at all meant to hurt me and this type of personality mixes with the blogging world in a difficult way sometimes. My intentions are so hopeful and strong at the start, but it doesn’t take much to make me second guess the worthiness of my blog by the interaction, or lack-there-of, with other bloggers. Blogging is a whole other realm that I need to remember my identity as I interact with it.
This whole process had made me think on the stage of life I am in, and how rarely I find bloggers whose lives are similar to my own, personalities of bloggers perhaps, but almost every single blog I come across seems to tell a story of a husband, wife, and their children, a fashion blogger, a business owner, or a combination of the three. Maybe other 21 year olds just aren’t into blogging, maybe there are just too few of us who have stories to tell via blogs or maybe I just have not come across them. Whatever the case, it is an isolating place to be sometimes.
I don’t write this post to complain, but rather I write in reflection and even to ask any readers of this little space if you know of any young bloggers who maybe relate to this feeling? Maybe the truest of a blogging community can’t be found until I become a mother, maybe I have the wrong idea of what a blogging community really is, again, I’m not sure. Right now though, perhaps I should expect to strike out a lot in my attempt to connect with fellow bloggers across the world…perhaps my attempts are too premature…it makes me a little sad, I don’t like feeling like I’m missing out on connecting with people or that I’m stuck on the outside because I can’t do anything to change where I am in life.
I want to remember not to blame my fellow bloggers for their lack of attention to attempts at connection, I want to always give the benefit of the doubt and not feel forgotten or not good enough to be acknowledged, because in the end, I remember that I don’t blog for them or for gaining followers or to be noticed, I blog for my own story.
You’d think I would remember that far more than I do :D
I also don’t want to feel discouraged, blogs are not meant to and should never have that kind of control over my emotions, I want to continue reading other blogs, learning from women in other stages of life and writing positive comments to let them know that I may only be one little person, but I am listening and following along with their story, and they might not know me at all or have any kind of investment in me, but because of their blog I have a small investment in their lives.
I was never a big fan person, it always felt strange to me to love someone so much only to realize at some point they don’t know you at all or maybe even worse they don’t ever even want to know you…this ‘fan’ mentality is something that can very easily develop with blogs however, because the stories shared are so personal it’s so easy to think that because you are relating so well with the stories of other women then they must be able to relate to you as well and at least be willing to talk with you, but this leads very quickly to a point where you become spread too thin over the expanse of blogs you could interact with and the bloggers themselves don’t have the ability to reciprocate.
The truth is, most bloggers can’t invest in their readers, readers are like fans, a shout-out is given and the blogger really is grateful for their support, but interaction with them is controlled and somewhat minimal. And that’s alright!
I always struggle with mediocre relationships, relationships that don’t feel even in their effort, one sided relationships…I think that this is the one area that blogging irks me, the one sided relationship part. Maybe its an inevitability, bloggers at many points gain such a following that actual sincere interaction is impossible, I think due to wishful thinking I hoped it would be different.
That I wouldn’t feel out of the loop, the group, the core, the ‘blogging community’, even with my efforts to connect. I think I am just momentarily frustrated at how one sided it all feels many times.
Any thoughts, yourselves? Is the ‘blogging community’ an elusive goal for some bloggers? What exactly is a ‘blogging community’ anyway? Any thoughts on the difference between certain generations who are bloggers? Is the system of interaction between better known and lesser known bloggers faulty or just normal?
These are the ‘life changing’ things I ponder as I await hearing back about job applications ;)